At its Core, Jealousy and Envy are Nothing More than Triggers

02-14-18  At its Core, Jealousy and Envy are Nothing More than Triggers

Much of the rhetoric around the Superbowl consisted of football fans saying they “wanted the Eagles to win because they were tired of the Patriots winning.”  OMG! How terrible is that?!?! In a culture that celebrates winning, and often times even encourages people to win at all costs, where does a statement like that come from, and psychologically, what does it mean? How can we want to win so badly, yet at the same time, condemn and despise those who do routinely win?

Even in our own lives, can we way we are truly happy for our friends when they win a promotion or get a new car, or a new love interest, or a new house? Can we say we are honestly and completely thrilled for them, or are we a little bit envious too?

At its core, jealousy and envy (and even hating someone for no reason, other than they irritate us…) are nothing more than triggers, which have pointed out something within ourselves that we are trying not to acknowledge. So the next time jealousy strikes you, sit back, relax, look within, and see what it is that YOU could be doing differently. Sometimes it’s as simple as phrasing your thoughts in a more positive manner.

For example, flip that Superbowl phrase around, and make it a positive, constructive statement: “I want the Eagles to win because they have never won before and I think it would be super exciting for them win.”

Read Lora’s blog on the psychology behind winning, losing, jealous and self-reflection at https://www.pyramidfusion.com/blog/

Body Shame, Love & Logic, and What we Resist, Persists

02-07-18  Body Shame, Love & Logic, and What we Resist, Persists

Is it any coincidence that the “obesity epidemic” and body shaming are both at an all-time high? Could it be that our resistance to “getting fat” is fueling our cultural obsession with shaming bodies that do not fit without our narrow standards of beauty?

Love & Logic is a parenting philosophy that emphasizes honesty, relationship, and natural consequences over punishment and shaming. For example, instead of shaming or spanking a child for breaking a lamp by playing ball inside, thus damaging the parent-child relationship, wounding the child’s ego and depriving the child of the natural consequences of his or her actions. Love & Logic strives to teach the lesson that playing ball inside might not be a good idea. The natural consequence of a broken lamp is replacing the lamp. The child is shown/taught how to earn enough money to replace or fix the lamp. The child’s ego remains intact, both parties get their needs met, and there is no need for diversion such as excuses, blaming, shaming, anger or hurt.

Can the same philosophy be used for bodies, health and can it serve to eliminate body shame altogether? If we as a society are open and honest about showing our bodies exactly as they are, if we are open about what we love, what we find uncomfortable, what we find scary, what we are concerned about, what we are not concerned about, then we leave no room for misunderstanding. Others cannot shame that which we openly and honestly present. So let’s talk about that which shames us.

No matter how healthy and happy we are, we all feel like the metaphoric “broken lamp” in some regard. The natural consequence of me offering up the truth of my body, as it, and both what I love about it as well as what feel is the “broken lamp,” what shames me, is acceptance, understanding and relationship. Because we can now bond in our understanding that we all have shame or fear. Maybe if we all resist less, maybe if we present our fears and insecurities more, then together move to a place of understanding.

Yes, we all want to be happy, healthy and attractive. Yes, we all have things that we feel are blocking us from being happy, healthy and attractive. Let’s talk about these blocks, learn from each other, and share what we’ve done to overcome our shame, fear and insecurity. Let me show you how I don’t fit into the idealized standards of beauty. Because only when I quit hiding, and quit resisting my fear that you’ll find out I don’t fit, with that shame dissipate. What we resist truly does persist. What are you resisting, and how can you FLAUNT! Whatever it is you are afraid of?

Our Bodies, Body Shame

01-31-18  Our Bodies, Body Shame

Join Lora as she dives deep to uncover thoughts, ideas and feelings surrounding our bodies and ourselves and the body shame we all carry in one form or another, no matter what we look like.

We live in a society where it’s considered bad to be fat; where saying someone is fat is an insult. But is? Is it an insult only if we mean it as an insult, or is it only an insult if the person takes it as an insult? Is there ever a way to speak about our own body, or the body of others, in a healthful, objective and honest manner? Are “fat” and “unhealthy” synonymous terms, and is there such a thing as Is there such a thing about being “OK fat” vs. “too fat?” What about other body conditions? Hair loss, age, deformities, scarring, height, foot size or the color of our skin? Are we only sensitive to that which ails us, or is one particular condition worse than all the rest? When I say Buddha is fat, bald and old, is that a fact, or an insult? Does it make a difference if you too are are fat, bald and old?

Is this truly a problem regarding body size, shape and condition, or is this a symptom of larger problem – discrimination against women? Does it have to do with our own self concept and self confidence? Women who are “too thin” are criticized, as are women who are “perfect”. Too thin women “need to eat, are meth-heads” or are “anorexic.” Women who are “the right size” are “too sexy, slutty, easy” or are “dumb bimbos.” Can a woman EVER win? If so, what is the ideal size for a woman to be? Are men plagued with body shame to the same degree as women? Does skin color come into play? What is the root cause of our obsession with other people’s bodies and where is the root of our collective shame?

How do we help heal a marginalized population without creating another marginalized population and without bringing separation? For example, the “Black Lives Matter” movement helps showcase a marginalized population. It is not saying that all lives don’t matter, but it has created division where none was intended. Title Nine, Affirmative Action and other such programs meant to bring balance to an out of balance system have sometimes created division and claims of reverse discrimination. Is there a way to do this correctly, without causing further division?

There are two sides to every coin. How do we unite both sides, bringing balance, tolerance and understanding to all?

Please Join Lora for a Facebook LIVE discussion, where you can post your own questions, comments, and interact with others about this very important topic. Find her on Facebook as Lora Plank Cheadle, and join in the discussion!​​

How Life Choreography(TM) can Help You GET what you Want, and FIGURE OUT What you Want in the First Place!

01-24-18  How Life Choreography(TM) can Help You GET what you Want, and FIGURE OUT What you Want in the First Place!

Dreamvisions 7 Radio Host Lora Cheadle(R) is the founder and creator of Life Choreography(TM), a program designed to help you accomplish EXACTLY what you want in life, and help you figure out EXACTLY what it is you want to accomplish in the first place. Lora will explain the components of Life Choreography(TM), as well as walk you through the steps she takes when working individually with clients. Are you ready to Build Your Dreams and Live Your Sparkle? Then let’s FLAUNT!