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02-14-18  At its Core, Jealousy and Envy are Nothing More than Triggers

Much of the rhetoric around the Superbowl consisted of football fans saying they “wanted the Eagles to win because they were tired of the Patriots winning.”  OMG! How terrible is that?!?! In a culture that celebrates winning, and often times even encourages people to win at all costs, where does a statement like that come from, and psychologically, what does it mean? How can we want to win so badly, yet at the same time, condemn and despise those who do routinely win?

Even in our own lives, can we way we are truly happy for our friends when they win a promotion or get a new car, or a new love interest, or a new house? Can we say we are honestly and completely thrilled for them, or are we a little bit envious too?

At its core, jealousy and envy (and even hating someone for no reason, other than they irritate us…) are nothing more than triggers, which have pointed out something within ourselves that we are trying not to acknowledge. So the next time jealousy strikes you, sit back, relax, look within, and see what it is that YOU could be doing differently. Sometimes it’s as simple as phrasing your thoughts in a more positive manner.

For example, flip that Superbowl phrase around, and make it a positive, constructive statement: “I want the Eagles to win because they have never won before and I think it would be super exciting for them win.”

Read Lora’s blog on the psychology behind winning, losing, jealous and self-reflection at

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