03-20-26 Episode 7: Understanding Maternal Ambivalence
In this episode of Paperclips & Periods, hosts Dr. Emily K. Cabrera, PMHNP-BC, and Katharine “Katie” Krych, MSN, RN, tackle a topic many mothers feel but rarely say out loud: maternal ambivalence—loving your children while longing for your pre-parent self.
Emily and Katie create a safe space to explore what maternal ambivalence actually means—and what it doesn’t. Missing yourself, questioning decisions, or grieving your old life does not mean you regret your children or are a bad parent. These feelings reflect the profound identity shift that comes with caregiving. You weren’t born “Mom”—you were born you.
The hosts explain that maternal ambivalence often stems from exhaustion, sleep deprivation, and the relentless mental load—not from wanting to undo parenthood. They distinguish between normal feelings and clinical concerns like postpartum depression, providing guidance on when to seek professional help. They also validate mothers who have experienced late-term miscarriage, emphasizing that grief and hormonal shifts require support even when a baby isn’t physically present.
Throughout the episode, Katie and Emily challenge the cultural expectation that mothers should be superhuman and always put-together. They normalize the guilt of asking for help, the fear of judgment, and the difficulty of trusting others with your children. Using techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, they encourage listeners to reframe thoughts: replace “I shouldn’t feel this way” with “I love my child, and it’s okay that I miss my old life.”
The hosts guide listeners through practical exercises: identify what you miss most, reclaim small rituals that reconnect you with yourself, and recognize when feelings cross into clinical depression. They share personal strategies—taking baths with the door locked, grounding in nature, finding moments of rest—demonstrating that self-care doesn’t require grand gestures, just intentional moments.
The episode closes with the signature box breathing exercise—a 16-second nervous system reset. Reflective and validating, this conversation invites mothers to release the myth of perfection and embrace the truth: you can love your children fiercely and still miss parts of yourself. You don’t have to carry everything alone.
Paperclips & Periods airs on Dreamvisions 7 Radio Network, a Boston-based syndicated internet radio station reaching listeners across 135 to 200+ countries through platforms including iHeartRadio, TuneIn, Stitcher, Spotify, and more. The podcast aligns with the mission of Dual Minds Integrative Psychiatry, supporting conversations that promote emotional well-being, maternal mental health, and whole-person care.
Learn more: www.dualmindspsychiatry.com | Listen on Dream Visions 7 Radio
Paperclips & Periods Podcast
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Dual Minds Integrative Psychiatry
www.dualmindspsychiatry.com
